Hospital scare..

So yesterday I woke up when K was getting ready for work and my face felt swollen. I went and looked in the mirror and YEP it sure was. My eyes being almond shaped and the fact that I am half Japanese so I fat eye lids anyway were REALLY swollen. It alarmed me a bit but since my hands and feet were fine I did not think about it. I went back to sleep not thinking twice. When I woke up to take the girls to school I had a headache and was having some cramping.. So I got up and got them ready and took them to school, on my way home I was SOOOOOOOOO uncomfortable and crampy. So I got home and fed the girls, the WHOLE time I was contracting and just kept thinking about what I needed to do that day. Well by the time the girls nap time came I had been steadily contracting. Nothing serious or painful but I just noticed they would not go away. So after I laid them down I sat for a while and drank lots of water to see if that would help them go away, it did. But then around 4-4:30 they came back full force and with pressure.. i told K when he got home around 6 that I think I needed to call the Dr. he asked me to wait a little while. So during the time of waiting they were getting more and more frequent. I laid the babies down for bed and told Kayle and her friend ( who was spending the night) to get their things ready for bed. I called Dr. B and he called me right back and told me to come in.

I get to the hospital and am immediately put into a room. I gave them a urine sample and get put on the monitors and as soon and they put it on I can see the contractions. I knew something was up when the nurse had another nurse come into the room to read the dip stick. I had trace amounts of protein in my urine, NOT GOOD. So i started to get worried. They gave me a shot of terbutaline and NOTHING it did NOTHING, So 15 minutes later when my contractions were still coming every 1-3 minutes they gave me another, Then i started to get a bit of relief but still felt a LOT of pressure. I had them check me and I was 1cm dilated but -2 which means the baby was still high and the inside of my cervix was closed, GREAT NEWS!! But these contractions would NOT stop. So I got another shot still nothing. I was seriously thinking I was going to have Caroline at 32 freaking weeks!! yes I know she would survive but she would be in the NICU for a while and I would NEVER want to relive seeing a baby i gave birth to in there, it is just horrible seeing them hooked up to tubes and monitors. So they started me on something called Procardia which they have started to use instead of magnesium. It did not fully stop them but it definitely spaced them out. I felt so scared. I was by myself in the hospital and all I wanted was K next to me telling me it would be OK, not listening to his calm voice over the phone telling me to be strong and joking that I'd better not have this baby yet. being strong, sweet, yet firm with me that things would be just fine. I was so scared for M&M that they'd have a preemie on their hands because of me. That their lives would never be the same, that Caroline would never be that normal wonderful child, nothing against children with disabilities cause they are just as wonderful but they do come with their challenges, more than a healthy full term child does. I just did not want that for her, for M&M. So around 11pm they gave me my first of 3 doses of the Procardia, at this point I was so sleepy i had already been given an Ambien when they gave me my last shot of terbutaline at 10:15 so by this time it had kicked and I was just so tired from not sleeping well the past few days cause we got a new puppy and I had to wake up in the middle of the night several nights in a row to take him out to potty.. I then found out I was staying the night and that I would have to have one dose of Procardia once an hr for 3 hrs straight, so that meant being woke up every hr. till 1am. so i got through that but then I was so worried about the contractions and Caroline that i kept waking up and looking at the monitor to see how bad my contractions really were.. They never did stop, just got further and further apart. even now I am having them at least 2-3 every hr. I was sent home with a prescription for the Procardia, to take it every6 hrs. as needed. And if my vaginal pressure gets any worse to call them. So far so good no real pressure just the contractions. I am VERY happy that through all those contractions, and Caroline already being engaged in my pelvis ON my cervix that my cervix did not change or dilate. So i have not been put on bed rest or anything like that, just been told to take it easy. Yes that will be easy..NOT, not with 4 kids and a house to keep clean. So that was my scare and for me a pretty big one considering I have never gone into pre-term labor.

Our 30 week appointment

So the guys flew in on Thursday evening, the day before our appointment. On Friday I got the older 2 girls ready for school and then came home to straightened up and feed the twins. I got them dressed and ready to go to their Big Momma's house ( I know sounds funny but that is really what she wants to be called..LOL) I got myself ready and dressed and then was out the door. I felt very excited to get to see Miss Caroline. I have not seen her since October, so I wanted to see how big she was. I picked Lani up from school and dropped all the girls off at their Big Momma's. They truly adore her she is a wonderful help and a blessing to me. So I got to the Dr's office and the guys were not there yet. I got there around 11:25 so it was odd that they were late. I started to get worried, not sure why but I did. Well they got there within minutes of me arriving. I LOVE my Dr's office, they are so great and understanding. So I gained about 2lbs. which is good since I have only gained about 8-10 lbs this whole pregnancy!! OK now to Miss Caroline. She is head down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a HUGE relief since I am wanting to VBAC and since she already weights a little over 3.5 lbs she most likely won't be flipping. I pray she won't. She is so cute though, you can already see that she is getting chunky, her cheeks are already chunky.LOL The guys were so amazed at how big I have got and how big she is. the Dr. made sure she is still a she and of course she is. I have been very paranoid about my cervix length since I had to have a LEEP done in Oct. of 08. I had him check it and it is measuring 4.1 which is great! So the appointment went GREAT she is estimated to be a big girl around 8-8.5 lbs at birth. She will be the biggest baby so far. We only have about 8 more weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!! It is going by sooooo fast. The guys are just about done with the nursery and I can't wait to see it. They are going to be GREAT dads.
So after the appointment the Dr. took us on the hospital tour himself ( I told you he was a great Dr. !!) He showed us the rooms and where I need to be dropped off if I go into labor at night, he also told me that he will not stop my labor if I go into labor after 34 weeks. Kinda scary to think of but I guess by then she will be just fine. The twins were born at 34.6 weeks so I know from them that she may need a bit of help but will do just fine! Oh back to the hospital tour. It was great. They plan on doing some updating but the actual facilities are great they have tubs in all the rooms which means that I can labor in the tub if I want too!! Sarah said that she has a birthing ball that she will be bringing ( she is a friend and fellow surrogate and my Doula!) with her so I feel really good about being able to labor her naturally. I also made sure that I do not need to have continuous fetal monitoring and only a pick line ( where they just put the line in your arm so they have easy access if necessary) which means I can walk and be free of all belts and IV bags!! That is a great thing. To be able to labor how I want to. So after our appointment we went to lunch which was a really nice lunch. I got to talk to the guys about possibly doing a sibling project. They said that they were going to talk to me about it too!! So they absolutely want me to carry her sibling/siblings!! I am so freaking happy to know that it is just crazy!!! So if all goes well with my VBAC then I will be looking for IP's come June so that way by October/November we will be ready to transfer! If I have to have another c-section then I will just wait till they ( the guys) are ready to start out sibling project. This is because for the sibling I would have to have another c-section which I would be fine with since it would be my last time even being pregnant. So things went really well!!!! I am so excited... So just 3 more weeks till my next appointment.. Usually it would be every 2 weeks but my Dr. is great and know that I trust my instincts and plus being pregnant for the 4th time helps too.LOL

30 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH I can't believe that I will be 30 weeks tomorrow... That means I only have about 8-10 weeks left!! The guys are flying out and will be at the appointment tomorrow and I can't wait to see them. They are actually staying for a visit which is cool. I can't wait to see Miss Caroline tomorrow! I pray that everything is alright and she is growing right on track.

Amanda..... Mandy.. I will miss you....

Well yesterday I found out that a very good friend of mine from high school passed away on January 4th. I found out in a pretty shitty way too. I went onto her FB page to which her a happy birthday which was the 13th and I say all the well wishes to hr family and we miss you's.. UGH. I completely broke down. I could not even think straight. I just spoke with her a few days before Christmas. I really wanted to have lunch with her soon and bam she is gone?? She was 29. She was a nurse, an army reservist, great friend, passionate, loving, caring, funny, goofy, she was one of the best people that I knew.. I remember being in high school with her she was laid back, one of the first people to make me feel like I was not the new kid, which I was. The new kid from Mass. She was one of the few white girls at my high school wish was mostly black. But she never really just hung out with he white girls, like they did they liked to keep to themselves but not Mandy, she was loved and liked by EVERYONE and when I say that I mean it, she never had any issues with anyone. She loved to laugh and to make other laugh ans her smile would brighten up any room. She was so smart and knew what she wanted. I envied that about her. I am 29 and still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up.LOL. We were on the swim team together, tennis team too. And she was GREAT at both. I sucked at tennis but was pretty good at swimming. It seemed no matter what she tried she succeeded at. Her parents were always so supportive of her and the other girls on the team, they always cheered us on and believe me, I never had that support of my parents, My dad was at work all the time and could not be there and my mom just could not careless ( to be honest)and it was soooooo nice to have her parents cheer me on too. Gosh I really wish I could have been a better friend to her, after high school we parted ways, she was on her way to college and I was a single mom raising a baby and working full time so we drifted apart. I finally found her about a yr. ago via FB and was so glad to have found her!! Being a wife and mom I do not and will ot let most of the peple in my past back into my life cause I know they are about the same drama as they were in high school, so the few that I let back in were and still are important to me. I can say taht she was a HUGE part of my life in the past and will be HIGHLY missed... Rest in peace Amanda....Love you...

Time for an update!!

Well I am now just about 29 weeks and feeling GREAT!! I know that the 2nd trimester I am supposed to feel better, have more energy but hell it just did not work out that way..LOL So I have been feeling a TON better physically except for my cold/cough I have had for a few weeks. It gets sooooooooo annoying to cough all the time and pee a little at the same time..LOL It comes with the territory I guess. So the guys will be here next Friday for our 30wk. appointment and I can actually say I am excited. A light bulb of sorts clicked on in my head a few weeks ago in regards to our relationship. My hubby has been telling me for months that this is just how they are and they are just guys and don't expect a lot from them. I know they are beyond thrilled with the impending arrival of Caroline and getting more and more excited. I just wish I knew a way to reach out to them more. So I think I am going to start texting them more about how the day has gone or about her moving, that sort of thing.. I have started on their scrapbook for her. I do not have many pictures at all so I have asked the guys to send me some so I can get those in there and then the rest will be open for them to put pics in when she gets older, when she first comes home that type of thing so VERY easy for them to have a scrapbook all they have to do is glue the pics to the page that is already decorated!! I am sure they will love it. I have also been looking for a gift for them for when she arrives. I am sure I have it pin pointed to 3 choices so now all I have to do is pick one..LOL Yeah like that is easy..

I have found that I am BIGGER with Caroline then I have EVER been yes even the twins..LOL I have to go and actually buy some more clothes, mainly shirts since I know that in a few more weeks everyone and their mothers son will be able to see the bottom of my belly..NOT a pretty sight..


So an update with M.. She went and got tested for celiac's disease ( upon the insistence of her sister) and turns out that she MOST likely has it. She was tested through an independent lab the all the results were positive but her Dr. at a well known clinic said she wants to run her own tests and have a biopsy done next week. I really am praying that she has it, weird I know but this could be the reason why she is infertile, WHY she lost DIJ. Undiagnosed celiac's disease can cause women to be infertile AND late term miscarriages. I really want her to be positive for it, because if she is then she can cleanse her body of gluten and then try IVF on herself again. Women with controlled and diagnosed celiacs disease have been know to get pregnant and do just fine! So we shall see. GOD I am praying for her so hard..



OH and I totally forgot to mention that I have now resolved to birth naturally, no drugs, NO PITOCIN nothing!!! At the most I will as my Dr. to strip my membranes, I refuse to have him break my water until I am at least 4-5 and in active labor. I am going to be doing a TON more research on this and my friend Sarah had agreed to be my birth Doula!!!