Saturday, September 19, 2009

I am so unsure of what to do or how to help. My little sister had one of the MOST violating things happen to her today by some piece of shit human being. I cannot believe this has happened to her. She is such a smart free spirited girl and I am almost sure she will never be the same again. I just want to rescue her and I know that this is not possible. I have watched this girl since she was born, watched her crawl, walk, talk. I have seen her get into trouble, have seen her triumphant. Now I have to see her broken. I am so sad I just want to cry and ask why? Why do men not understand that no is no? Why do men feel that they can just take things? I hate men right now, I am so beyond upset it is crazy. I have not gotten out of bed at all except to feed the girls and put them down for their daily nap. What do I do? What do I tell her? How can I comfort her? I just want to erase this day from her memory, take this day away. I want to castrate that piece of shit. Please dear Lord take this pain from my sister, heal her, comfort her, make her stronger.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Well the NT scan went well!! the baby's score was 1.0 which is VERY low so all is well, just waiting for the blood work but given that the score is so low I am thinking very positively that the blood work will show the same. The guys flew out for this appointment as well and they were very excited to see their little bean on the screen! They were amazed by how much movement was going on. The u/s took a little longer that normal cause the bean was not cooperating very well with it's position. It was funny cause the u/s tech would jiggle the wand on my belly and you could see the baby jump with the movement, finally I laid on my side for a few minutes and the when we tried to look again the baby was in the PERFECT position! They only got the one great shot of the baby, it was too funny cause every time they would try to see the position the baby would move into some crazy position. After the appointment we went to see Dr. B. He was so great!! The guys LOVED all the dr.'s and nurses and said we are in a great hospital! I am very relieved that they are happy and like the Dr.!! So we are soon to be in the 2nd trimester and things are getting better I have been in a better mood and have had a bit more energy! I am VERY happy about this cause my house is suffering greatly..LOL I try to keep it up but dang it is so hard with 4 kids and a hubby! K has been a HUGE help though he has cooked dinner a couple times and cleans up all the time for me. Man am I blessed to be married to him♥♥♥♥

So very soon I wll be able to make a trip to Massachusetts to see my family that I have not seen in about 15 yrs. I have seen my Grandmother several times but that is because she has flown out here. Since I have been married I have not really had the opportunity to go out there cause the air fare for all of us is crazy never mind the fact that flying with 4 kids is boarding insanity. Plus K is now ready to take care of all the girls by himself..LOL He will be taking them to school too, he even has to do their hair, kind of a scary though LOL. So on the 23rd this month I will be flying out! I am getting VERY excited.. My older sister was supposed to go but she is really stupid. I say this cause she allowed her ex boyfriend to purchase her ticket and told her DH that our parents boutht it for her. All I can say is WOW what the Fuck was she thinking??? Her DH is such a nice guy, granted he has is issues but she is so far from right in this whole situation it is crazy. I was really disappointed that she did that. K and I have ALWAYS had the same attitude toward cheating, if you can't do it around me then it is cheating, and if you don't want to be with each other then LEAVE do not stay for the kids cause that is a cop out. I would NEVER cheat on K, never mind because I am in love with him but because of my feelings towards it, it is just cowardly on so many levels, if you are not happy then freaking leave...UGH

Monday, September 7, 2009

In need of an update I guess... I am now 11 weeks 3 days. So far so good. I stopped all my meds at 10 weeks 5 days. It was a few days after the RE wanted me to stop but it was when I was comfy doing so. I read that the placenta starts to take over at the 10 week mark so I just gave it a few more days. I have been feeling a TON better since stopping the meds. The first few days were rought I actually had hot flashes..LOL Nothing new other than that. The guys will fly in on Wednesday night for the NT scan and I am just praying that the baby is healthy. I would HATE to even think about terminating. So I have been praying hard that this baby is perfectly healthy!