Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Waiting..........

I like anyone else do not like to wait, I hate waiting to hear any sort of news weather I expect good or bad news. I've been waiting for almost 2 weeks to hear about my approval, or not and it just plain sucks. The fact that they take that long is just crazy, I know this is part of the process but it sucks all the same. ?
What am I waiting for you ask?? I am waiting for the RE to either approve me or not to be a surro again. I have a wonderful lady that I have known for going on 2 yrs. I met her through a women that I was going to be a surrogate for when back in 2008, things did not work out with us but we kept in touch, still do. Anyway she introduced us and we talked but she was not sure on whether or she wanted to move forward at that time, plus my FIF's wanted to do a sibling journey. We kept in touch the whole time and she was a great support through out the pregnancy. We got to know each other and then one day she asked me, I was thrilled but at the same time scared, like I am now, that I would not be approved for another pregnancy. I am an honest person and don't sugar coat things, I have been pregnant 5 times, twice was with twins and the last set was born at 31.4 weeks. Nothing was wrong, no pre-e or preterm labor, no infections the babies just decided it was time, too early. They were rock stars and did amazingly well, I wrote about it here. BUT I still worry and sort of doubt myself. Should I? I WANT to help her sooo badly, I WANT her to have another baby, want her son to be a big brother but ultimately is if it is safe for me, for her embie/ies for me to be the one to be her surrogate. I've thought about it a lot and I feel that my body is capable, a good choice but I will leave it in the Dr's hands. MY OB says that he approves and there is no reason why I can't so his confidence helps ease my mind but its not in his hands. So I wait, wait to hear what this summer will hold for me, will it be cycling or finding this wonderful woman another surrogate?