Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Let the count down begin.

So here I am at 35.4 weeks. I will be 36 weeks on Friday which is just so beyond great! I remember with the twins this was such a pivotal week, my Dr.s would keep telling me that is where they wanted me to get to, at least 36 wks. I never made it, made it to 34.6 weeks. I am SOOOOO happy to make it to 36 weeks. the guys are now all set. They started to interview nannies for Caroline and are happy with the potential candidates. It is so strange though, I never thought I would have such a connection or bond with this baby. I am praying that whomever they choose is a great person, caring, loving, gentle, patient. I want nothing but the best for Caroline. I can honestly say that I would be beyond pissed if her nanny is nothing but all the above listed things I mentioned. She will me thousands of miles away from me and that is a sad reality. I would LOVE it if M&M would keep in contact with me but I can't make them, I can't expect them to. I am not her mother, I am the one who has been blessed to be able to carry her, nurture her, and love her for the past 9 months and that is it. M&M are now in the home stretch, they have their bags packed with her things, her car seat ready by the front door. Their phones are now on at all times of the day and night just waiting for my call.

I can say that I am ready for her to come. My body is tired, my mind is tired from all the anticipation, thinking about what the future holds for her. I have my 36 wk. appointment on Friday and that is when we will get a final estimate on her weight and see where my body is, if I am effaced or dilated. I am praying that I am. I would love to go to that appointment and him tell me I am 3-4 cm dilated and effaced. I have been thinking about asking to be induced. It just seems better fo all of us. For me so I can plan for where the girls are going to be, so I can make sure K is with me, that Sarah ( my doula) will be there. So M&M will not miss the birth of their daughter. I will be talking to my Dr. about this at my appointment. I just think it will be better, and IF I end up needing a c-section then so be it, I don't really care how she is born, just so that she is healthy and happy. My desire for a birth experience is NOT more important than that. So my journey is coming to a quick end and it actually makes me sad, but at the same time I am so freaking excited for M&M to be daddies. I can't wait for the actual day of her birth, seeing their face the first time they see her, hold her, feed her. It has been a great experience for me, has had it's ups and downs but worth EVERY minute. I pray that I will be talking this same journey with M&M in about a yr. or so, that i get the added blessing of carrying her sibling, making her a big sister! OK enough rambling.. Can't wait till Friday!

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