Sunday, December 27, 2009

Almost to the 3rd trimester!!!!!!!!!!!

I am almost in the third trimester!! Thanks goodness. I feel HUGE, I can't roll over in bed anymore without help, I have a hard time getting in and out of bed. LOL I am glad that it is almost 2010! Not really sure why but I am. I am thinking about next year already. I have been feeling a ton better about this surrogacy. I have finally accepted that the guys are just that guys and they mean no harm and are ELATED that their little Miss Caroline is on her way and even though we may not be life long friends or that close I am doing a wonderful thing, this is all thanks to my loving hubby!! I no longer wish for this to be over so quickly. The girls are understanding more that this is not our baby or their sister and are OK with it ( I think) Kayle being the older one understands the concept and thinks it is cool, Lani finally understands that this baby is NOT going to live with us, she asked if she could see her when she gets bigger and I told her maybe and she was good with that answer..LOL All of hubby's family knows now so that is a weight off my shoulders as well. I am getting more and more excited to be able to see little Miss soon. I can;t wait till the guys come out in January to my next appointment. I have an awesome gift for them!! I am actually looking forward to finding new IP's and doing this again!! I am not sure if I want IF's again or a traditional couple. I know that I want a closer relationship though.. I did think that I would get to work with my FIM though but that is VERY doubtful. I am not even sure I can call her that since we never even got to the contract phase. We have become rather close friends though. She had a filed transfer just recently with her surro and it really just sucks, plain and simple. She did find out info on adoption that has her a bit intrigued which is good. I was sad to see on her blog that she is going to continue to work with her current surro until all the frozen's are used up. We had talked and she said this would be her final try and then she would wait for me, I know I can't expect her to wait, it just sucks to think that I will never get a chance to work with her.. I know I will be on the look out for more IP's come June so that way in October when I can transfer again we will be ready. Then I am almost positive the guys will want miss Caroline to be a big sister and I would jump at the opportunity to be the one to carry her sibling!! And that would leave me finished as a surro. I would have helped 2 family's be created and birthed 7 babies.. I would have loved, loved, loved to be able to work with her but I do not think it is in the stars for us to work together.. Got to love my plan though..LOL That's IF it even remotely works out the way I think it will, God just may have other plans for me..LOL

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