It's been a long time

So it's been a long time since I have updated, where to begin?
The beginning I guess. So the twins are doing amazingly, they are a little over 5 months and are growing and keeping their dads busy. I did get to visit them in July and though it was fun it was tiring. I think the guys thought I wanted it to be a baby weekend cause I spent a ton of ti e holding/changing/feeding it was so great but dang did I forget how busy twins keep you. They are si ply divine and their older sister well she IS the queen of the house (as she should be) I was and amazed that, that beautiful little creature grew inside my tummy. She is one of the most amazing children, beside my own of course. She is smart and sooooooo energetic! I was sad to leave but happy too, satisfied,content, blessed. I was so happy to know that those 3 precious girls have a dads, a nanny (who loves them like her own!) and family that not only love them, but cherish them. They are very lucky and blessed little girls! I can only pray that I am able and allowed to be o. The sidelines to witness the remarkable women they are surely to become.

You owe me a coke....

Well I jinxed it, my last post was on April 26th and I gave birth on the 28th... The babies were only 31.4 weeks. They did and are doing AWESOME though. I am not writing a birth story for several reasons but the main reason is that I don't have one really, yes they were born but the story is pretty much I woke up bleeding, went to the hospital, and an hr later they were born. Not really a lot to embellish or elaborate on. The girls are freaking rock starts though, I could go on and on about that,
Elle(A) was born crying and screaming and NEVER needed any help breathing, not once, Charlie (B) needed help with oxygen for the first 4 hrs. and then she was on a CPAP pushing room air for another 3 days but then after that she needed NOTHING, can we say AMAZING?!! Never mind the fact that they were off ALL IV's and tubes after one week. The guys flew them home about 2 weeks after they were born and they just went home on Monday this week. They are gaining weight and growing. I am so proud of those 2, where my body failed them they picked up the slack. They are beautiful girls and their older sister does not really understand who these visitors are just yet, but she's doing great as well. They guys are holding up well, but they have loads of help from the night nurse to 2 nannies and ALL the family they have their doing great, it will hit them fully in about 4 months when the night nurse is gone, lol. It won;t be easy at all, given they have a 14 month old and 2 almost 1.5 month olds under the same roof to care for.

So things are good, I pumped for a about a month and lost over 20lbs! I have since stopped, kinda wish I didn't but it was a hassle especially since the twins were home and the milk was no longer for them. I loved the benefits of pumping, I wish it could be that easy after to lose weight.

I probably won't be blogging at all or very little in the future, I am not sure what my future holds when it comes to surrogacy but most likely this was my last journey.

Don't want to jinx

So dare I write this post???
I have been feeling GREAT!! I have had LOTS of help this past week it has been awesome. I truly have the best little sister there is, she stayed all week long, skyped some of her classes, drove an hr both ways to her college to turn in paperwork, homework and take tests. She never complained once, helped clean, did some grocery shopping and made sure I was alright and that I did not do much of anything. It is such a relief to know that I have her to help, that the girls LOVE their auntie Reiko, they listen to her, have fun with her and look forward to her being here. I am at ease in my home ( which I know I would not have been if I had a stranger here.) It still sucks that I am in bed all day, but at least I have her to talk to, joke with. Physically I have been felling better as well. I do not have acid reflux really at all, I am not coughing all the time, my allergies are not going totally crazy. I hate to say things are going so well because I don;t want to jinx myself. Yes it is harder to move around, hard to sleep and stay asleep but if those are the only things to complain about I'll take it.

I have an appointment tomorrow and am hoping and praying it goes well. I do not want my cervix to change at all, I want it to get longer so that way I can have the security of knowing that I will bake these babies a bit longer. I am going to be 32 weeks on Saturday so that is a HUGE milestone and then the next one will be 36 weeks! I am so grateful that I have proven the stats wrong so far. This all started at 25 weeks and my OB was just so sure that I would have either delivered by now or that I would be in the hospital on bed rest. I am moving right along as well as are these 2 beauties and that is all I can ask for!

So Easter! Easter was a pretty decent day, did not do much beside sit at my moms and eat. My girls had a great day, they all looked great and loved their baskets. I worked on them for a little while but it was worth it! I hope you all had a great Easter as well!

Bed rest..................

Need I say more??

So I decided after my appointment on Thursday last week that I would be on as strict a bed rest as I could be on. With the threat of hospital bed rest looming I want to tak a pro active stance. So my little sister is going to be helping me and had been great!! She will be her full time, taking the girls to school and picking them up. doing things around the house. She is truly a life saver. After I heard my OB tell me about the hospital bed rest I was in panic mode because I could not figure out who was going to come help or how it was going to work. My hubbys mother who usually helps out with the girls when needed is and has been busy with watching my husbands granddaughter. As annoying as it is that I do not have her as help at all I guess I know it is what is best for my hubbys daughter. Why don't I call her my step daughter or her child my grand daughter? That is a whole other post and just a personal decision. But I will say that it did upset me a little that I could not count on my MIL at all.

So back to the bed rest, it is NOT by any means relaxing, maybe the first day or so is nice but it gets old QUICK! Your body gets tired of sitting in one position, you get sore, your back hurts, your hips hurt, your neck hurts. It is for the best but it is not easy, never mind the fact that I have 4 girls that want and need my attention. It is dance season for my middle child and I will miss her first 2 recitals, upsetting, then my oldest track season has started and I know I will miss at least 4 meets, plus ALL of her track meets for her school. This is her first yr. participating in school track so I know it will mean a lot and there is nothing I can do about it. It sucks to know that my family will still be going out and doing things but without me, I want them to enjoy and have fun as a family but I'd like to go. I was sooo looking forward to taking my 2 oldest girls to see that new Disney movie African cats but won't be able to. Easter is coming quickly and I will not be able to join my family at Easter service. I am going to try and focus on the positive things about this bed rest, I can focus and pick out all the negative I want to but in reality it will just cloud my days that are already going to drag on forever so whats the point?? These 2 girls WILL be healthy and WILL not be born before 34 weeks!

Thursday blues...

So it has been a little while since I updated, why? Well because I have had some complications with my cervix and have not felt like being on the computer much let alone actually put into words how I am feeling. So it started on Tuesday this week I went in for my regular OB appointment. I figured all would be just fine give last Thursday my appointment went great. Well it was not the case. Everything is fine with me EXCEPT my stupid cervix. So back to Tuesday, my cervix measured between 1.63 & 1.80 which was down from a strong 2.5 on Thursday last week. I was crushed, I have been resting and hardly doing much. My Dr. has not put me on any kind of strict guidelines or even really said bed rest, just told me to try to stay off my feet and each appointment because things were good was " Keep doing what your doing" just crushing. So I have been in the bed as much as I can. I don't do much around the house, my hubby and oldest have picked up the slack. I had help twice and she was great, it was nice to not have to think about certain things.

Today, I went in not feeling to hot to begin with, I have been feeling more and more pressure "down there" and did not have a great feeling about today's check. Well it was not great to say the least. The babies look great and are oblivious to what is going on..lol My cervix was between 1.3 & 1.6. Dr. B says he is calling it the same with slight change but to me it changed and not for the best. He had already told me on Tuesday this week that his gut is that I will be in the hospital on bed rest soon. So this measurement is just me inching closer and closer to the Antepartum unit. I just feel horrible, like my body is failing me and these babies. It is just so scary to think that they might come so soon. Never mind that fact that I will be away from my family for goodness know how many weeks. Just sucky feeling this way. I was chosen to do this to help, not to hinder and if these 2 are born anytime soon they will have NICU time and GOD how I do not want that for them. I can remember how AWFUL and helpless I felt when my twins were born and they had to spend time in the NICU with tubes and monitors. They were not there long and were born at 34.6 weeks so they just had to gain weight and keep their O2 stats up. These 2 will have more issues if they come anytime soon. I guess only time will tell with me body.

But on a happy note here is a 29 week belly picture!

Names!!!

Sooo We have known that one of these 2 girls will be names Elizabeth but the other name had not yet been decided upon for a WHILE, and honestly if it were not for the PBO ( pre-birth order) I doubt they would be in agreement either. But anyway they have now decided on baby B's name!

A is Elizabeth


B is Charlotte



I LOVE their names!! But better yet I love being able to call them by their names.
Elizabeth is more active than her sister, usually she will get moving first and then Charlotte wakes up. It is alway funny how twins interact with each other in the womb. There is usually one way more active than the other

Simply speechless

So I was talking with my guys this past week and M kept asking me if I got a specific email and i told him no, he told me a few times to check again and make sure to check the trash and spam folders. SO I did and it was still a no, he sounded a little panicky but I did not think about it. Well The very next morning I woke up to one of the nicest most thoughtful things anyone had every done for me. It was a GC for me to get a new laptop!!!!!!!!! What? Are you serious?

The guys felt bad that I have been stuck in bed for most of the day and they knew my laptop had broke in January and have yet to find a replacement. They know it takes me a while to do research and make sure things are a right choice. I cried like a baby, who does that? I mean yes there are people that receive gifts like that but I am not one of them, never have been till now. I have never received anything so nice in my life, it still makes me tear up thinking about their huge act of generosity.

So I am now on the hunt for a good laptop. I have a few in mind but have not chosen yet! It has been fun but daunting at the same time. How did I ever get so lucky to be blessed with these 2 wonderful men, I will never know.