Shadows....

So I actually started testing yesterday...crazy I know. Today I am 4dp5dt (4 days post 5 day transfer) and I was not expecting to see anything and this mornings test gave me just that nothing. I am testing 3 times a day till I get a solid line or till I realize there will be no line and with that said I tested this afternoon and............ There is a shadow!! SO I am optimistic,that this shadow will turn into a wonderful strong dark line. Only time will tell. Oh an just a disclaimer, the above picture is NOT mine, it is just a picture I found..lol

My first beta is next Monday and it cant get here fast enough, the guys don't want to know any HPT ( home pregnancy test) results, they are afraid of getting a false positive so they want to just wait for Monday's results. I can't blame them because all this testing is going to drive me insane. All the "is it a line, or an evap" or am I just seeing things is going to send me over the edge. I will say that I am glad in a way that I haven't seen a line yet because that would scare me, and make me wonder that much more about how many are in there..lol

So I will hold on to hope that this shadow is a sign of things to come and that one little baby bean is in there snuggling in for 8 more months

The dreaded 2WW

SOOO I have entered the dreaded 2WW (week wait) but it is more like 9 days. We had our transfer on the 8th and it went great!! We transferred 2 fresh 5 day blasts. I was nervous at first but the guys were so calm, or at least they didn't let their anxiety show through. It went just like my previous times except our RE was VERY involved. He talked to us in the waiting room, gave us the paper work to sign and walked me to the transfer room, my last clinic this was all handled by the staff I didn't even see the RE till I was already on the table..lol This RE is very personable and had excellent bed side manner. I even got a copy of the picture they take of the embryos which I thought was nice so that way I could have a keepsake as well.

So a little about my pre-transfer experience. I flew into NY on Wednesday and it was an easy flight, I had a middle seat but the flight 2was not fully booked and lucky me the seat next to me (window) was open! I LOVE the window seat because I NEVER move on a flight, I use the restroom prior, I HATE public restrooms and the thought of using an airplane restroom gives me the creeps so unless it is dire I stay away. Being in a window seat is so much better because you never have to get up to allow other in/out. I arrived in NY at the height of traffic and the hotel is a good hour to hour and ten minutes away so this meant it took me 2 . 5 hrs. to get there, but good thing my driver was really cool. I finally arrived and I was beat, I had bee up since 3am because I wanted to see my hubby off before he went to work and I could not get back to sleep. I pretty much just ate and went to bed. I knew the next day would be a long one because the guys were going to show me around the "real New York" as they put it. I walked, rode the subway, at amazing food and saw the typical New York landmarks but from afar, which was best because it meant no crowds or tons of people.



On Friday they took me to Blue Hill Farm which is the most beautiful farm/grounds I have ever seen. Never mind the farm to table freshness of the food but everything else as well was simply perfect. They have a small market and it is just filled with any and everything that is simple but perfect. Oh how I wish I lived back east just so I could visit this place and have lunch/dinner every so often.

So now I am 2dp5dt and am not dying to pee on a stick..lol Not yet, I know by tomorrow I will break down and pee, and now that I am talking about it I want to, but I am going to wait, I would be scared out of my mind if I got a line right now..OMG ok yes I will wait.

Thinking THICK

Alright so the last time I updated I was bummed out because my lining was not cooperating and it was not thin enough to start my Estrace. WELL Last Monday I had another ultrasound and low and behold that after the Provera and me doing anything and everything I could it worked. I never did get my period which was SUPER strange because I took the Provera for 6 days AND drank parsley & ginger tea as well as a lot of papaya juice. I googled how to induce my period and those were some of the things listed. SO anyways last Monday I had an u/s and my lining was 4.5!! Yes you read that right 4.5 and no period, just spotting a little. Now things were back on!! I started my Estrace and lowered my Lupron and yesterday I went to have another u/s and this time we wanted a fluffy & thick lining. WELL how is 15 for you?! Yup my lining went from 4.5 to a 15! That was just the average and in some spots is was 16, so this turned out to be excellent news because the guys egg donor was already on meds to do her retrieval because she could not wait any longer for me. SOOO this means that I will be doing a fresh transfer next week sometime!! I am not sure on exact dates because it all depends on the donor now. I am still not completely relaxed because you just never know what can happen and until you are on the table at the IVF clinic about to transfer anything can happen, so I still need good thoughts for our egg donor. We want to have a good number of eggs but most important is the quality, then there fertilization... Still so many things for me to think about going awry.
 

Surro family update

It has been a while since I updated about my surro family. They are all doing so wonderful! M&M are the best dads a girl could ask for they are simply amazing! The girls are getting big so quickly and it is again time for another trip to visit them and I cannot wait! I got a few pics the other day of them playing with bubbles and having such a blast.
 

A little set back

So I have been MIA for a little while and that is because we had a little set back and it is my fault. I cant lie and say I was not pouting a bit because I was. SO on the 2nd I went in to have my baseline u/s and blood work done. Well my blood work was great but the reading for my u/s were higher than the RE likes to see. He wants it below a 7 and mine was 7.5. At first I thought no big deal because I was not completely through with my cycle and I figured I would keep shedding. My NC was really sweet about it and said that since I am so close that they would just wait till Monday's repeat u/s to see what we need to change if anything. SO Monday rolled around and I just knew my lining would be the same if not thicker and I was right this time it was measuring an 8.3, I knew this meant that it would push our transfer dates out and I was right. I have been on provera since Monday and I am hoping that tomorrow my cycle will start back up and my body will do what it needs so we can get this show on the road. I hate that I my body isn't cooperating but there isn't anything I can do, sooooo I have been in a little bit of bad mood. So all of you that read..if any of you lol please just send good thoughts my way please, and thanks!!
 

Randoms

So just a little random post for today, I started meds this past Saturday and so far so good. no headaches or mood swings. I hope to keep up this good luck I seem to be having. Only time shall tell, I just hope the Lupron is doing its job and making sure all things are quiet and stay that way.
 

Meds!!

The only people I know that get excited to receive a box full of medication and needles are surrogates. I got my box o fun today and I am so excited to get things started. I start Lupron on Saturday! Lupron suppress your ovaries so you don't ovulate, it is injected into your stomach with a tiny needle. I have had 2 previous cycles where it was my only needle and this cycle will be the same, which makes me a happy camper. I know a bunch of surrogates that would much rather do PIO, which is a form of progesterone. It is a much larger needle that is injected into the upper right part of your butt. BUT it usually leaves you with a knotted, lumpy sore butt and I would much rather use the suppositories. So here is to officially getting the ball rolling! Only 42 more days till transfer....so far yet so close! .